* We have the
right to expect our kids to be seen for who they are as individuals,
not as
labels or diagnoses.
* We have a
right to trust our instincts about our kids and realize that experts
don't
always know best.
* We have a
right to ignore the remarks, questions and stares and not give
explanations or
excuses for why our children are the way they are.
* We have a
right to choose alternative therapies for our kids.
* We have a
right to roll our eyes straight out of our heads when we encounter
certain
mothers who brag nonstop that their kids are the smartest students/best
athletes ever.
* We have a
right to wonder "What if..."every so often.
* We have a
right to play aimlessly with our children. Not for therapeutic or
educational
purposes—just for fun.
* We have a
right to blast Bruce Springsteen/Tom Petty/"Any Rocker", down a glass
of Pinot
Grigio, get a pedicure, go out with the girls, or do all of the
aforementioned
at once if that's what it takes to avoid burnout.
* We have a
right to react to people's ignorance in whatever way we feel necessary.
* We have a
right to not always have our child be the poster child for his/her
disability
and some days be just a child.
* We have a
right to go through the grieving process and realize we may never quite
be
"over it."
* We have the right
to give our kids chores......even better, if they can learn to make
breakfast in
bed for us.
* We have a
right to stretch the truth when we fail to do the exercises the
therapist asked
us to do this week because we were too darn tired or overwhelmed.
* We have a
right to have yet more Pinot Grigio.
* We have a
right to fire any doctor or therapist who's negative, unsupportive or
who
generally says "suck-y" things.
* We have a
right to tell family and friends that everything may not be OK—at least
not how they mean it, anyway.
* We have a
right to hope for an empty playground so we don't have to look into
another
child's eyes and answer the question: "What's wrong with him?"
* We have a
right to bawl on the way back from the playground, the birthday party,
the mall
or anyplace where our children's challenges become glaringly obvious in
the
face of all the other kids doing their "typical-development" things.
* We have the
right to give our children consequences for their behavior. They may be
"special"
but they can still be a royal pain in the ass.
* We have a
right to take a break from "Google-ing" therapies, procedures, medicine
and
treatments for our kids to research upcoming concerts, exotic teas or
anything
not related to our child's disabilities.
* We have a
right to talk about how great our kids are when people don't get it.
* We have the right
to not always behave as inspirational icons who never complain or gripe
about
the sometimes awful realities of raising a child with special needs.
* We have a
right to expect quality services for our children; not just when
they're
infants, preschoolers and elementary school age, but, when they're in
older
grades and adults, too.
* We have a
right to adequate funding for those services and to not have to kick,
scream or
endure a wait for them.
* We have a right
to get tired of people saying (as they give that sympathy stare), "I
don't
know how you do it."
* We have a
right to wish that sometimes things could be easier.
* We have a
right to cheer like crazy anytime our children amaze us—or weep like
lunatics.
* We have a
right to push, push and push some more to make sure our children are
treated
fairly by the world.
Compiled in
honor of my little boy, Max, and all of our beautiful children on June
17, 2009
on www.lovethatmax.blogspot.com.
Reprinted
with permission from www.lovethatmax.blogspot.com