PSN Issue
By: 
Is Running Your Own Business the Way to Balance Work
and Parenting a Special Needs Child?
Have you ever wondered if it would
be easier to take care of your Special Needs child if you were your own
boss? No more requesting time off
for appointments or calling in sick when your child is really the one who’s
sick. No longer worrying that the
school is going to call. No more
running late because your child had a difficult morning or forcing yourself to
work after a sleepless night. None
of this matters if you’re the boss!
You could set your own schedule around your child’s needs. Running your own business could finally
give you the flexibility needed to balance the needs of your Special Needs
child, your family, and yourself.
Is being your own boss really easier and less complicated than answering
to an employer? Three
mothers who have successfully made the transition from a traditional workplace
to working independently from home share their stories.
“If I could not work from
my home I don't know how I could support my family like I do.”
Maria Dellapina, of Ohio, the
founder and president of Specs-4-Us , began her
company three years ago after she was fired for missing work because of the
recurrent medical needs of her daughter, Erin (now 10, Down Syndrome). Maria was divorced and already
struggling to financially support her family while keeping up with the needs of
Erin, Mollie (now 12, Typically Developing), and their two older siblings who
no longer live at home. The
moment of truth came when Maria begin job hunting. She added
“twice I pulled up and parked for my interview and the school called me to pick
up Erin because she was ill... I think Erin was trying to tell me
something.” A friend convinced
Maria that the only way to be there for Erin (while financially supporting her
family) was to work from home.
Maria began pursuing an earlier dream that combined her 25 years as an
Optician and Frames Buyer with Erin’s ongoing need for eyeglass frames that fit
the facial features common to Down Syndrome.
Financial independence did not come quickly, or easily, for
Maria and her family. But, Maria
persevered with the support of friends who believed in her. They also understood
how Erin’s needs were making it difficult for Maria to keep a job. In 2008, she launched “Specs-4-Us” out
of her home; selling eyeglass frames which she invented especially for
individuals whose facial features make it difficult to find properly fitting
eyeglass frames. Even if this is not the way Maria would have chosen to begin
her work at home career, she loves what she does and advises parents who are
considering working at home with their own business to also “do something you
love”.
“It’s a shame she had to wait
twenty two years for this to happen.”
Despite the chronic needs of her
medically fragile daughter, Jessica (22 years old, Spastic Cerebral Palsy,
Quadriplegia), Melissa Davis of Tennessee didn’t start working from home until
two years ago. Jessica is
wheelchair bound with limited communication. Her complete physical dependence has required the assistance
of paid caregivers for the past 15 ½
years. Melissa felt it was
important that she be present to make sure that Jessica received the care she
needed and deserved from her caregivers.
“I gave up on
trying to work outside of the home” she said. Her therapy wasn’t getting
done. She was withdrawing, and her
health was decreasing quickly.
Melissa was concerned that Jessica would decline even further once she
aged out of the public school system and no longer had the stimulation
of being in the classroom.
One of Jessica’s caregivers was so impressed by how long
Melissa and her husband, Rodney, had been caring for Jessica without respite
that she started Stone Soup Stone Soup is a
church based, non-denominational Special Needs Respite Ministry. She gave
Melissa the opportunity to move from a traditional job in Medical Billing to
working at home as the Thompsons Station Church Stone Soup Director during
Jessica’s last year in school.
Melissa’s “gut” feeling that she needed to be home to stop Jessica’s
withdrawal was correct. She added, “You
should see her now! She is very bossy and tells us what she thinks and wants.
We can’t understand the words, but the looks and tone tell it all. It is
wonderful to see her forming into her personality”.
Melissa’s
transition to working from home is exactly what Jessica needed, but it’s not
always easy for Melissa. Jessica
still requires supplemental caregivers and Melissa frequently sets work aside
to help with her care. Jessica is
medically homebound after being hospitalized for a serious Flu this past
September, so Melissa rarely leaves the house and does most of her work late at
night after Jessica has gone to bed.
Seeing how her daughter has flourished over the past two years makes the
sacrifice worthwhile. Melissa encourages
parents, who feel that working outside the home is interfering with their
child’s well-being, to take a leap of Faith. “Just do it!” is Melissa’s attitude. Do
it and don’t look back. Turn it
over to God and He will provide what you need.”
“Try to enjoy everything that
happens on a daily basis, the good and the not so good.”
In the early 1990’s, Diane Scott,
of California, was exploring part-time work at home opportunities as a way to
balance career with parenting two toddlers. She realized that her business idea was helping her now adult
son, who has ADHD and was born with a temporary inability to turn his
neck. Her friend and business
partner, Maryanne Gallagher, had a toddler with a severe peanut allergy. Together, they developed the recipe for
Aroma Dough®, a gluten free playing dough that uses aromatherapy to help calm
and focus children as they play.
Diane feels that her son’s ADHD did not cause her to make the career
change from Public Relations and Advertising to CEO of her own business, but
his Special Needs did influence the product she co-created. “I didn't know he was unusually hyper, since he
was my first child and I did not have any comparisons with my other children
who I would have later. But,
I found the aroma components of the product we developed had a calming effect
on him. He would play with Aroma Dough® for hours. He was helping
me test the product and the different aromas way before ‘aromatherapy’ became a
buzz word in the advertising world. That's why
we say we invented ‘AromatheraPlay®’.”
Aroma
Dough® has moved from the garage to a manufacturing plant and is now being sold
by national retailers. Like Maria,
Diane gives credit for her business success to friends, in this case her
business partner. “For me”,
Diane continued, “it helped to begin the journey with Maryanne, who had the
same background, and it was helpful that her children were the same ages. We
seemed to accomplish a lot when we were able to breakdown responsibilities and
go in different directions.”
Diane and Maryanne had each other,
supportive husbands, and hired a part-time “grandma” to help with the kids a
couple days a week so they could work on their business. Even with so much support, Diane still
felt the strain of developing a business from her home while remaining involved
with a growing family. She stayed
positive and focused by setting limits on work time to stop it from creeping
into family time, while still trying to create time for herself. “When
you are younger and your children are little and require more help”, she said,
“ it feels like the days will never end.
But I cannot tell you how fast time goes by.”
Build a Balanced Business from the Beginning
Maria, Melissa, and Diane each
began working from home for different reasons, but,
each created the same thing: a fulfilling career. One that balanced their
children’s Special Needs against the needs of the entire family without
overwhelming them as women and mothers.
All of them work independently and can schedule work around the
constantly changing needs of their families. However, because the home is their office, they are also
responsible for creating structure for their work time and for finding a way to
keep work from taking over their family-life and identities. Amy Baskin is a professional writer, lecturer, and the mother of an Autistic
child who conducts workshops across the country to help mothers of Special
Needs children create balance between themselves and the demands of everyday
life. She is co-author of More than a Mom: Living a Full and Balanced Life when Your
Child has Special Needs
(Woodbine House), a book of strategies to help women identify
and resolve real life problems that cause imbalance between work life, health,
family demands, and parenting a Special Needs child. Amy offers the following business building tips to parents
of Special Needs children who are interested in making the transition from a
traditional work environment to their own home-based business:
· To get your work done, you need some kind of childcare. You can try to get some work done at
night while your kids are sleeping, but, if you're taking care of kids in the
day and working at night, you'll have virtually no time to care for yourself.
So this is only a short term option.
· Because you’re working from home, you need to take steps to be visible,
professional, and to build your business. Get business cards and make (or
hire someone to help you make) a website.
· Join a professional association of people doing the same kind of work as
you. Attend their meetings, workshops, and professional
development.
· Use online professional listservs and blogs to swap advice and tips (a
great strategy if you're housebound).
· Tell all of your friends and acquaintances about the kind of work you do
in order to get referrals.
· Be generous about sharing your own advice and contacts. What goes around, comes around.
· Carve out time for you EVERY day to de-stress, exercise, and connect
socially with others.
These three business
women have found that working from home has resolved some of the
conflicts of continuing to work while caring for a Special Needs child. Building a home-based business requires
a strong business plan that includes a timeline for the growth of your
business. Concrete plans to help
you draw the line between business and family have to be a part of your vision
from the beginning. Being your own boss comes with a new set of
responsibilities and pressure.
Moreover, there’s no guarantee that financial independence will come
quickly, if at all. One thing that
will not change, no matter who you call “Boss,” is the need to create balance
between work life and home life.
This is a lifelong challenge that requires a mother to recognize that
she has needs that cannot be put aside if she wants to succeed in all areas of
her life.
To read more of Amy Baskin’s experiences as the parent of
a Special Needs teen, visit her blog at Today’s Parent.com . For more work at home tips and to read
more of Anara’s interview with Amy Baskin, visit Anara’s blog able2able… Your Special Needs Resource Directory.
Disclaimer: All information on this site is of a general nature and is furnished for knowledge and understanding only.