Q: My daughter is a 19 year old with Down syndrome
(DS). She has been dating a 21 year old man with DS. Are there any
articles or advice about dating and marriage? They are always talking about
getting married. They have been dating almost a year and are always telling
each other how much they love each other.
Please help! Thanks,
Tammy S.
Advice: Tammy, it's important to realize that despite their
intellectual disabilities, they are completely normal when it comes to wanting
a companion around. To the best of my knowledge, there isn't any
"book" that can instruct you on what to do. The best way to handle it
is, of course, proper birth control along with a lot of communication with your
daughter.
I once worked with a special needs couple who lived together
and got married. They did just fine with the coaching from their families. She
was put on birth control and they were happy. It made me realize a very
important thing. They truly are entitled to have relationships the same as we are, however, they have to be managed appropriately. I have
to admit that I am concerned for that day to occur for my own children.
However, why shouldn't we allow them to be loved by someone who is like them?
On an entirely different level, it could be wonderful to have them experience
the same unconditional love that we have for them as well.
Robin
Newman LCSW,PC, clinical social worker and adjunct
professor at Adelphi's Graduate School of Social Work. She also has a private
practice. She is married with 2 special need children. Have a question about
your relationship? Ask Robin. Send your questions to advice@parentingspecialneeds.org
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