March is International Expect Success Month and
March 19 is Absolutely Incredible Kid
Day.
Children with special
learning needs have experienced more failure and disappointment than other
children. Parenting children with
special learning needs can be difficult, and calls forth from their parents an
extra measure of care in helping their child to “expect success.”
The expectation of success
can be cultivated and nurtured to grow remarkable “flowers” of promise. Children who nourish seeds of “success”
grow into strong, confident children—skilled learners who make bold
choices and expect the best for their lives. They see setbacks as temporary and know they can find ways
to surmount the obstacles that present themselves.
Children grown from success
develop a “winner” mentality that supports them when life becomes
challenging. Children grown from
these seeds problem-solve; they test out theories; they create wonderful new
platforms from which to explore and conquer life; they carve out a strong personal
identity. They reject thoughts of
failure. They create. They succeed. These children lead.
But what happens if children
do not have a strong sense of their own internal ability to succeed? These children harbor self-doubt. They expect defeat. They prepare to lose. They defend themselves from the pain of
failure. They make choices which are restricted to those options that are
guaranteed to produce the least amount of pain. They wither in the face of challenges, moving through life
like ghosts of themselves, restricting their life to the least painful
alternatives, rarely reaching beyond the safety of what they are sure they can
do without failure. They see
challenges as yet another instance of humiliation, and they resist humiliation
at all costs.
How can parents plant the seeds of success in their
children?
A child learns to believe in
his or her ability to succeed through his or her interaction with parents. There are many ways parents can “sow
success” into their child’s life.
The following two strategies applied consistently will nurture your
child’s desire to tackle life’s challenges with confidence.
Review your child’s successes with him (her) on a
daily basis!
Never let your child doubt
his capacity to ultimately prevail.
Resist the temptation to criticize. If your child does not behave in a way that pleases you,
remember that the cause of your child’s bad behavior is his feelings of
disempowerment and insecurity.
Help your child feel more
secure! Express faith and confidence
in his ability to handle the challenges of life and to select appropriate
behavior the next time. Guide him
to believe that he can make the best choices for each situation.
Keep your child’s successes front and
center in your mind and in your child’s mind! Expect an Absolutely Incredible Kid!
Parent
your child from an attitude of strong belief in his abilities and in his
ultimate achievements. If you feel any doubts, banish them. Let go of any beliefs in your child’s limitations. Cultivate your child’s mindset of
greatness.
Daily affirmation for greatness:
My child has the power to
make successful decisions and have a glorious life. His talents are so strong that I have every reason to expect
success. I believe in him. My child is brilliant and amazing; his
life is evolving toward greatness.
I admire the way he meets challenges head on. I can trust his judgment.
Children who have
experienced failure have, unfortunately, begun to grow seeds of
self-doubt. Like a gardener
pulling weeds that block the sun, parents can crusade against self-doubt and
nurture the seeds of success!
Dr.
Kari Miller is a board certified educational therapist and director of Miller
Educational Excellence, a Los Angeles based educational therapy facility whose
mission is to bring about unlimited possibilities for underachieving students
by guiding them to discover their true brilliance and use it to change their
lives. Visit her website to
receive a FREE monthly newsletter which provides information on a complete spectrum
of leading edge educational approaches.
Dr. Miller has a PhD in Educational Psychology; a master’s degree in
Learning Disabilities, Gifted Education and Educational Diagnosis; and a
bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education and Behavior Disorders.
www.MillerEducationalExcellence.com
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