
Self-esteem is the value you place on
yourself. When
building self-esteem in your special need’s child, you should first
understand the nature of his/her disability. Then,
you should consider all of the other things he can do, and focus on
them. Build
on successes.
Negative self-esteem contributes to addiction, abuse,
depression, poor grades and even crime. Focus
on strengths rather than weaknesses and concentrate on what your child
does right rather than wrong.
Even though your child may have difficulty reading, he can
still be great at baseball.
Even though he may not be feel comfortable sharing his
feelings verbally, he may express them through music or art.
Communicate
openly with your child and let him know that he can confide in you. Ask
him a question or make a statement and wait for him to respond. Let
him know you value his opinion and be a good listener. Reassure
him that you understand how he feels or that you appreciate a job well
done. Make
an effort to get involved in the community and enter social situations. Make
sure the activities are developmentally appropriate and offer the
supervision your child may need.
Inclusion is the best way to build a sense of belonging. To
prepare your child to interact appropriately, you may practice role
playing for situations.
For example, you may rehearse social scripts such as
making a new friend or ordering in a restaurant. Start
by talking about the best thing that happened today. The
way you and others interact with your child will affect how he views
himself, so it is important to try and make these interactions positive.
It
may seem like you have a larger responsibility than most parents, but
know that you can still assign your child some responsibility of his
own. Make
sure your expectations are reasonable. Acting
on his own will foster independence and encourage him to make decisions. Offer
choices. Even
if your child is non-verbal, he can point to indicate which cereal he
prefers or which color shirt he likes the best. If
one strategy doesn’t work, don’t force it. Instead,
try something new.
Make sure his environment is safe, supportive and
stimulating for his senses.
It is important that he is able to develop
his own identity, or sense of self, as he grows. This
identity must be positive rather than a negative label like “autistic”
or “learning disabled”.
Promote self-expression by reinforcing your child’s
interests through books, art and field trips. For
example, if your child is interested in the solar system, join him in
watching the phases of the moon each evening. You
can chart observable changes on a calendar or draw pictures of what you
see. You
may also go to the library and take home his favorite books on this
topic to read and discuss together. If
your budget permits, you may choose to invest in a basic telescope or
binoculars from the toy store.
These experiences will stimulate his senses and increase
his sense of self.
Although
your child may have a special need, their most important need of all is
to be loved and accepted for who they are. You
cannot change your child, but,
upon understanding his disability and what he can do, you
can maintain a positive outlook and provide the hope and encouragement
that will boost his self-esteem.
Keep a sense of humor and remember to have fun and adapt
to situations.
As you know, things do not always go as you plan. Your
child pays attention to what you do and say. Be a
positive role model for your child, as his self-esteem may count on it.
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