Everyday Heroes
Dr. Nelson Mane
“Everyday Hero” of the Month – April 2010
My particular “Everyday Hero” set out to find the
“person” inside the prison of autism that incarcerated my little boy. He
conducted an extensive “Search and Rescue Mission” to help find my lost little
boy. I couldn’t reach him, no matter how hard I tried. So, I was guarded,
but hopeful. I thought, we’ll try again just one more time, and just keep
on trying to find the key to unlock this prison cell. With that in mind, I will
tell you a story of this personal search and rescue mission.
Everyday life in the world of Autism seems like the
children are lost to the world…a world in which they are disconnected from our
continents and existing on a deserted island of their own….a place where their
loved ones cannot reach them or bond with them. These “ones” search and
search to find their lost children…and are usually left hopeless, deserted, and
discarded themselves. Not many will listen…not many will take the time to
look (it’s just too unpleasant). They don’t understand it…so people ignore it,
and hope it will go away. There are very few answers…just more and more
questions…and it seems these questions are continually ignored. So, as
you read along…lift anchor, take a boat to my island, take a little journey,
follow me and experience my desperate quest to somehow, someway find my sweet
little boy…the little boy that I always knew was in that dense forest.
Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew he was in there somewhere.
Experience the true elation of finally finding “The Rescuer”…the doctor that
gave me the answers to all my questions. This is a most dedicated doctor
who tirelessly worked (“whole soul”, and “whole heart”) to find my son.
This is the person that I nominate to be my “Everyday Hero”. I will be grateful
to him until my dying day.
As I look back it was really from my son’s birth that
the overwhelming uneasiness started.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong. “Maybe I forgot
…” I would think to myself. After
all, it had been quite a few years since my last child was born. “I’m
just being silly… maybe it’s a little post partum…” Still, I could not shake
the feeling that something was wrong. There was such a feeling of
disconnection, but for the life of me, I didn’t know why.
My gut is telling me that something is not
right. Things don't feel right...my baby's little hand...the look in his
eyes…his frightened cries...his frequent sicknesses. I would question,
ponder, and I would read. But, I found no validation. Instead, from those
that had greater knowledge than my own, I would get patronizing responses
like: "all children are different”, "all babies hit their
milestones...eventually...don't worry..." and, "you're stressing
too much".
These are the typical responses that I would receive
from those that I trusted to give me answers to my many questions. But, my
questions seemed silly to most, and seemed like I was an over-protective mother
to say the least. So, the more questions I asked, the more I felt the fool...until
I became mute. I tried to ignore my gut and all the questions that I had
in my head and heart, but I couldn't. My subconscious seemed to know this
and I started to have nightmares and trouble sleeping at night. I longed to
bond with my son, but didn’t know how; my heart ached because I so wanted to
know his little person that was lost inside of him. The feeling became
desperate as I felt with each passing day my little boy became more and more
lost to me. It felt like he was sitting in a little boat all by himself
with no oars…while I was on the shore. And slowly, deliberately, he was being
carried farther and farther away from me with the currents.
After 8 years of struggling with many doctors,
therapists, books, etc....with not a clue or glimmer of anything that even
resembled an answer to my question, I finally found an answer. AND, I found
someone finally...finally...that validated all of my concerns...every last one
of them. Then, my friends, we started to move forward. We have found accomplishment
and great success.
The moral to this story is this:
"Always...always....listen to your Gut". That is a saying that
has been around forever....and what it literally means is...."Listen to
your Heart of Hearts always...and Trust in it." So, with concrete
assurance, along with a starting point, there was only a brief pause at the
foot of the steep incline, and then...Yes! We began to climb those tiny
mountains with the vital help of an experienced climber, Dr. Nelson
Mane’.
And then, it was as if my son was found and I felt
that Dr. Mane’ had just delivered my son and placed him in my arms for the very
first time. An overwhelming feeling came over me because I realized that
even though I loved my son more than life itself, I had never truly bonded with
him. I wanted to shout at the peak of the mountaintop…one that feels like
Mt. Everest. It took just a little while to get here and pure elation has
filled my heart! The milestones that have brought us to this peak have
been as tiny mountains: small yet big, minute and yet all encompassing…
Please permit me to map out our great journey and
list these tiny mountains in the order in which we have set our marker flags,
and then we continued to go further and higher that I ever thought possible.
Levi, at age 8, could still
not grip properly or control a pencil, crayon, scissors, fork or spoon. Now, he
CAN! Now, he is thriving in his art work as well as with his penmanship.
Eating a meal is a pure pleasure now and not a humiliation. Tiny
Mountains indeed!
My son could never play
games like other children his age, as he could not catch a ball, or bat, or run
without tripping…Now, he CAN! And now, he’s playing baseball, smacking
that ball from the 1st pitch, and running those bases with a smile of glee that
fills the air. Tiny Mountains!
He could not read or spell
phonetically at age 81/2. In order to get through a small paragraph, it was a
painful torture with much frustration and tears. Now, he CAN! Reading…what a lovely thing to do now,
as he cracks open his favorite books to enter into a fascinating world that he
could never enter before. Tiny Mountains indeed!
Levi’s sensory input was so
sensitive that the world was a very frightening place…one which he could not
derive enjoyment from. Life was too loud, too bright. Clothes were too
rough. Sand was too course…everything was just TOO much! Life was so very
difficult that he would literally go into a fetal position, and suck his thumb
as a desperate attempt to escape. Now, he can enjoy life as carefree as a
little boy should. Life is “just right” now. No longer do we see him press
his hands over his ears, squint his eyes in pain, or scream about the texture
of his clothing. He doesn’t have to escape life any longer by sucking his
thumb. He stopped that STIM (and many others), because “life”, and this world,
is a beautiful and stimulating place for him NOW! Tiny Mountains indeed!
Finally, at the peak of the
mountain, and the last leg of the journey…was “silent language”. You know the
ones…. the words that you understand with only gestures and facial
expressions…the words we hear with our hearts of understanding. My little
boy never understood a smile. When someone would smile at him, he never knew
how to smile back or to even mirror any facial expression, for that matter…much
less understand what these expressions or gestures were. He never
understood humor, double meanings, pragmatic language, etc. Now, he can
give a bright smile when someone smiles at him, and he understands facial cues,
gestures, and can react appropriately to them. His eyes are connected
with a warm glow, and his smile sends me soaring! His laughing falls upon
my ears as a magnificent symphony as I realize that he is truly “tickled” at
jokes and humor! Tiny Mountains indeed!
Tiny Mountains …yes indeed! We are at the edge
of something very grand! Truly, I feel that we are at a much brighter and
better beginning instead of being at an end. We’re just getting started.
The horizon is bright and breathtaking, and my heart swells as I gaze upon my
little boy’s future now. By leaps and bounds, he is moving forward, and I
will be grateful to my dying day to the unsung hero that found my little lost
boy…the hero that found the person behind the face of my son’s ASD. Dr.
Nelson Mane’ and his skillfully successful treatment of Hemispheric Integration
Therapy has given me my little boy back. He is truly the best friend that my
son Levi will ever have in his entire life.
Will there be more mountains to climb? I feel
like we have already tackled the tallest one…the Everest. But, yes there are always mountains to
climb. After climbing Everest though, there is such a sense of excitement
and passion as there are many more mountains to climb.
There’s the
Himalayas, The Andies, The Rockies, etc… and there is no pause at the foot of
any of these mountains. We will just keep on climbing to ever new and wondrous
heights.
Submitted by: Kimberly Larochelle
Read more: Dr.
Mane’s treatments H.I.T the Target
“Everyday Heroes” written by Corey Barker / Anita Cox / Joan Grant
Performed by Cash Creek (Myohana Music / Corey Lee Publishing / AC Songbird publishing)
Disclaimer: All information on this site is of a general nature and is furnished for knowledge and understanding only.