Welcome to Clayton’s Story

Empowering Autistic Independence – A Mother’s Advice and Cautions

Living with autism can be challenging, particularly when it comes to living independently. In this discussion, Reilly Pelkey will share her son, Clayton’s, incredible journey of working towards living independently. She will also talk about Clayton’s surprise encounter with the Department of Children and Families (DCF), which put his and his family’s strength and commitment to independence to the test. She advises all families to stay alert and mindful of such challenges.

Podcast Interview with Reilly Clayton’s Mom Post-Incident

Reprinted with permission a long personal post alert from Reilly, Clayton’s Mom:

You think you’ve thought of everything, and then…

In an effort to be open as we have always been, we are sharing something Clayton has had to deal with as an adult person with autism. 

This is just an effort to share something that occurred and blindsided us fortunately has been resolved. 

Did you know Clayton is a vulnerable adult because of autism? Allegedly. 

The last few months have been difficult for us as a family. Someone was concerned enough with Clayton’s well-being to report his “vulnerability” to the Department of Children and Families.

Their complaints ranged from him having autism and living alone, to him getting a cold and using DayQuil unsupervised, to him putting pieces of cardboard in his chiminea of all things.

Comical—if not for the fact that the independence and life that he (and we) have worked for him to attain was all put in jeopardy.

Frustration and Heartache Caused

The frustration that this has caused has bled over into heartache. Even though Clayton is 24 years old, he’s still being doubted and restricted because of something that he IS. 

There is no way to protect him from someone who thought so much about his label (and so little of his strengths and abilities). 

While we are all judged by people who have their own perspectives, judgement of Clayton has the hot button word “autism” attached to it and was weaponized against him. 

Thankfully, the support system in the Florida Keys, at his work, old roommates, and his own self advocacy were able to show how unfounded these claims were to the individuals that mattered.

Often, we’re told Clayton is a “success” or “just like anyone else.” 

We’re told that we talk about autism too much or post too much about him. 

A very much “we get it, he’s done it” mentality. 

Unfortunately, these last few months are an example of 

why AWARENESS is still needed.

 ADVOCACY is still needed. 

EDUCATION is still needed.

INCLUSION is still needed. 

And clearest of all, ACCEPTANCE is still needed. 

Clayton is a single, 24-year-old man, working to restore our coral reefs with multiple dive certifications under his belt. 

He finds joy in people at work and solace while cooking for himself at home. He’s “doing life” the way that he’s happiest. 

For the individual who thought he didn’t deserve the life he’s earned and was not given the support he needs by his family— please reach out to him, his bosses, his friends, his teachers, or us. 

Reach out to anyone before you take the steps you did again and risk his rights and independence. 

The only guardian or restriction Clayton requires is himself. He gets plenty of guidance and strength from those who love him. 

We are thankful for the DCF individuals that worked this case, the people who wrote letters for Bub, and his support system for doing what it does best. 

This was all written with Clayton’s consent and input – working through this as a family has been emotional to say the least. 

Our ongoing hope is for people will put aside their biases and see him for the man he’s grown to be: A great one. 

Sincerely, 

A Very Tired Family

Photos Courtesy Pelkey Family

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This post originally appeared on our May/June 2024 Magazine