Age Appropriate Gifts?

Q: What are your thoughts on buying age appropriate gifts for my teenager? Please advise.

Advice: Now that the holidays are approaching, I have had quite a few questions regarding gifts for special needs teens/adults. Most parents have experienced the desire to bring their child up to an appropriate age level for a particular gift. There is often embarrassment, which exists in the extended family, to buy immature gifts for the teen/adult. The example of a former client of a family I treated comes to mind. Their son is 16 years old and is still fixated on Hess Trucks. The family has tried every which way to move their son forward, to truly no avail, on this particular topic. In other areas he is showing some improvement. I expressed that perhaps there are going to be some things that you need to just allow and let go of. It’s difficult, especially when a family is trying to have their child fit into society and the perception of what is expected. My question is, how many things can you as the parent micro manage? It gets to be exhausting. Do you feel that your teen/adult is a reflection of you? Do you forget that despite their challenges that they are still their own person? This holiday season I ask you, the reader, to consider these questions for yourselves and enjoy your children. If what they are interested in is healthy, and perhaps not at the age you see them at physically, consider the “happiness factor” involved. They are still their very own person!

Have a blessed holiday,
Robin Newman, LCSW

Robin Newman LCSW,PC, clinical social worker and adjunct professor at Adelphi’s Graduate School of Social Work. She also has a private practice. She is married with 2 special need children. Have a question about your relationship? Ask Robin. Send your questions to[email protected]

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This post originally appeared on our November/December 2011 Magazine