From the Heart: Grace and Gratitude

Grace and Gratitude

I was recently reminded of a trip that got delayed… well, it never happened. My oldest daughter and I had scheduled a trip with her best friend, her mother and cousin to travel to New York City to see the ball drop on New Year’s Eve! I was excited to get away and have a break to spend some time with my older daughter, do girl things, not have to be responsible for anyone else and just “get away”

We all eagerly checked our luggage, got our tickets and checked into the Airport, and waited for our plane…and waited…and waited. Eventually, the flight was cancelled because of bad snowstorms. I don’t recall what year that was, but EVERYTHING was cancelled for several days. Everyone at our party cried except for me. I didn’t cry. About a year later at a birthday party, my friend was sharing with her family and friends about this experience and saying “you know, Chantai, you handled it with such grace, almost like you just anticipated it. I was most upset for you and felt so bad for you’. I wasn’t sure how to take that response from my friend because I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, or pity me, or even think that way about my life. The “inside scoop reason” I didn’t cry was because I was, frankly, happy just to be with them (the group) even if it was just sitting in the airport. I got to read two whole magazines without being interrupted; I got to be with adults, and I got to have a break from my regular life. I was happy for the time. I figured if the plane didn’t take off and we couldn’t go it must be for the best! I’ve learned that things usually work out for the best!

I think raising a child with special needs teaches we parents grace. We learn over time to “bend”; we learn to hit all the curve balls that can be thrown at us. We ride the roller coaster even though it scares us (and want to hurl!) Because we love our children and our families. And through it we learn to appreciate the view from the top as well as from the bottom. And sometimes even sitting on a bench we won’t hurl.

Others who have not walked in our shoes or “ridden the rollercoasters” (trips to the hospital, sitting through your first of many IEPs, dealing with insurance companies, government agencies etc.) may not understand and think we are showing such grace. When, in truth, we were just appreciative and grateful to be able to read two magazines and not be interrupted.

I’ve learned over the years that I’m not going to be Martha Stewart; I’m not going to have a beautiful tree in the house perfectly decorated; not going to have the meal that’s perfect, with cookies to boot. I don’t strive for that anymore. Instead, I prefer just the simple and fun traditions that are inclusive, bring us closer and can be done with family and friends. We have added some new traditions that have really made our holidays more enjoyable. One started out as a way to encourage my daughter’s speech and turned into one of our family’s favorite traditions: we go around the table and family members are asked to share what they appreciate about each person or share a favorite memory about each person.

Wishing you Grace & Gratitude

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays

Chantai Snellgrove
Founder and Editorial Director
chantai@parentingspecialneeds.org

5 Things I Learned From This Issue

There is a new Special Needs water park under way (p.8).
Tips to gracefully correct misinformation (p.26).
It’s OK to take a break and recharge! (p.38).
Fimo dough can be used as a “keep busy” and fun activity (p.19).
That the Gorilla Gym is sturdy and safe and can be used indoors (p.34).

Articles Mentioned in This Article

Coming Next Issue
Planning/Organization

This post originally appeared on our November/December 2015 Magazine

From the Heart: Grace and Gratitude

5 Things I Learned From This Issue

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